Dear Readers, Welcome to Our Final Part of Our Article on “The Power of Persuasion: Strategies for Successful Negotiation“.

Today we are continuing with our Last Example on “Negotiating Anything, Any Place : Taking it Personally” .

Do check the Last Part to fully understand this Example.
So, Let’s Begin!

As, in Last part we had discussed 2 things for specific rules that doesn’t apply when Negotiating.

Although we have come this far together, a caveat about this approach may be in order. Please recognize that any effective technique carried to an extreme is no longer effective. It may become downright ridiculous. So some moderation is often helpful.
Sometime ago I read an apocryphal story that I would like to share with you.

A new priest was so nervous at his first mass, that he could hardly speak. Afterward, he met with his superior, the monsignor, and asked for help.

Pleased by the request, the monsignor placed his arm around the young priest and said, “To hold your audience, you must make the Bible come alive. your flock must see those times and events as if they were happening today. Remember, Jesus’ interest was in the redemption of man’s very humanity. His mission was not to govern men, but to release them.”

“In other words“, the monsignor said, leaning closer, “make it a personal experience for the worshippers. Use their language. Tell it like it is, as the young people say.“

The priest was nodding enthusiastically, encouraging his superior to continue.
Impressed by the attitude of the young man, the monsignor couldn’t resist one last piece of experienced advice. Beckoning the priest closer, he whispered, “Oh yes—it might help you relax a little if you put some alcohol in your water glass.“

The next Sunday, following his superior’s instructions to the letter, the young priest was very much at ease and talked up a storm. However, he noticed the monsignor, in the rear of the congregation, furiously taking notes.

When the mass was over he rushed up to his superior, anxious for some more sagacious feedback. “Well, how did I do this week?“

“Fine” the monsignor said, “But there are 6 things that you might straighten out in the future.“
He then handed the priest his notes, which follows:

1. They are the 10 commandments, not “the top 10 on the charts.“
2. There were 12 disciples, not “a whole gross.“
3. David slew Goliath. He did not “whip his ass.“
4. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as “The late J.C.“
5. Next Sunday there is a taffy-pulling contest at St. Peter’s, not “a Peter-pulling contest at St. Taffy’s“
6. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as “Big Daddy, Junior, and the Spook.“

Moral:  Don’t be a literalist. Do what is appropriate under the circumstances — exercising moderation always.

“Personalizing Power”

Probably, one of the most effective uses of “Personalizing Power” was made by the late Richard J. Daley, long time mayor of Chicago. Let me try to contrast and characterize his approach with a contemporary in big-city government, John Lindsay, New York City’s former mayor.

in my opinion, John Lindsay was the best-looking mayor the Big Apple ever had. Lean, chisel featured, and square jawed, he could easily have pursued a career in media or show business. He was the tallest mayor the city ever had — which isn’t saying much. 

His dress was impeccable; he was an eloquent speaker. Why, he didn’t even sound as if he came from New York. This, if nothing else, should have qualified him to be the Mayor of New York. John Lindsay, appeared to have everything.

Did John Lindsay, a decent public servant with the best intentions, achieve his objectives? Not at all. Why not? Because despite his engaging City of New York. he said such things as, “New York City would like you to honor your commitment.“

Do you think people like labor leader Michael Quill ( who played the “dumb is better” routine by always mispronouncing the mayor’s name as “Lindsley”) cared about this impersonal abstraction?

the megalopolis of New York is too big for a finite mind to comprehend. To Quill it was like a request from the British Empire.

Daley, on the other hand, was short, with a silly-putty body. When he lost weight he could best be described as pudgy. He clothed himself in suits that had been out of style for 30 years. When he spoke publicly his syntax butchered the English Language.

One day he would cut the ribbon on a new school and dedicate the building to the “Higher Platitudes of Learning“. Thereafter, he would defend an indicated crony with,  “We’ve been boyhood friends all our lives“, and then dismiss the Vietnam War protest by remarking, “I don’t see any more serious division in our country than we had during the Civil War.“

He once advised a group of business executives, “Today, the real problem is the Future.“

Then there was his famous rebuttle to reports of a police riot during the demonstrations at the Democratic National Convention in 1968. “The police are not here to create disorder,” he said. “They are here to preserve disorder!“

When the newspapers dutifully quoted him, Earl Bush, his press secretary blamed the media.

“It’s damn bad reporting,” he told the reporters gathered. “You should have quoted what the mayor meant, not what he said.” ( Somehow they understood that.) “Hizzoner” himself even reproached the press: “You have condemned me, you have vilified me, you have even criticized me.“

Were Daley’s appearance and garbled speech a drawback? To the contrary. they made him human, endearing, and appealing. He’s still so revered in Chicago that you might say he’s on the verge of local canonization.

Late last autumn, I was sitting in a plane at O’Hare waiting to depart. My seatmate asked, “Is it snowing outside?” After glancing out the window I assured him that it was. He responded matter of factly, “You know, when Daley was alive, it never snowed this early!“

The Late mayor is buried in an unimpressive grave site at a small cemetery in Chicago. However, year in and year out, tens of thousands of visitors make a pilgrimage to his last resting-place, to pay homage. 

As a matter of fact, the weight of all these people has caused the ground to sink around the grave, and the mound of earth, under which his remains lie, has risen. Why does this multitude come? For all we know, they’re still asking for Favors. And for all we know, he’s still granting them!

Why do labor representatives still say, “Daley really understood the working man and his needs!“

How could he possibly deal with both sides of the fence, then convince each group he was on its side? Because unlikely Lindsey, Daley negotiated personally. He never negotiated on behalf of the Democratic National Committee, the Democratic party, or the City of Chicago. 

He knew in his gut that such concepts were to abstract. Instead, he approached individuals privately, one by one, asking for their commitment to him personally. 

That’s “Personalizing Power“
Now that we have come full circle, I Trust that the end of this journey marks the beginning of a Rewarding and Liberating phase of your Life.

You have a Role Play in this world— a reason for being here. But it is up to you to find your part and direct your future.

You Alone determine your destiny through your own Efforts. Accept this responsibility—not just for yourself, but for us all. 

You have the Power to change you Life and the Lives of others as well. 
Don’t back away from the exercise of Power or wait for someone else to Act.
Of course you can get what you want should be to help others along the way.

The Good Life is not a Passive Existence where you Live and Let Live. It is one of involvement where you live and help live.

Allow me to close this Article with Words written by William Styron in Sophie's Choice: The most profound statement yet made about Auschwitz was not a statement at all, but a Response. The query: "At Auschwitz, tell me, where was GOD?" And the Answer: "Where was Man" 

Dear Readers, We will be continuing from where we Left, our Last Part. 
The 5th Example relating to : Negotiating Anything, Any Place : Taking it Personally So Let’s Begin!
This story is related to Sharon who lived with French Family. The people who owned a small farm, where they grew melons.
Periodically, they received phone calls from people interested in buying a melon wholesale. In each instance the offer was rejected.
One day, a boy about 12 years old came in person with a similar request. The same answer followed. Nevertheless, the young wall persisted, following the owner around as he did his chores. 
After listening to the child’s personal saga for almost an hour, the farmer paused in the midst of a melon patch.
“Enough!” he said to the boy. “You can have that large one for one franc.“
“I only have 10 centimes,” the boy pleaded.
“Let’s see, at that Price,” the farmer said slyly, winking at Sharon, “How about that little green melon over there?“
“I’ll take it,” he said “However, don’t cut it off the vine yet. My brother will pick it up in 2 weeks. You see, I just do the purchasing. He handles shipping and delivery!” Consider the 6th and Final Example: Let’s say you live in an apartment in a desirable location. It’s the middle of January, and you aren’t getting enough heat. Even your cat is shivering.
Should you complain to the superintendent, building manager, or Landlord? Probably you already have, without getting results. By this time you must realize that I do not believe in approaching anyone in a petulant or aggressive manner. 
You never “Complain“, but simply make your needs and circumstances known. Should you come on too strong, the issue shifts from the lack of proper service to your lack of proper manners.
In this Example, it is important to determine whether the indoor arctic climate is widespread. Is this a deliberate attempt by the owner to increase his investment return? Should this be the case, all the tenants must get together to act, so as not to suffer the slings and arrows of an outrageous landlord. In essence, utilize the Power of Commitment.
But let’s make this problem more difficult. Somehow you are the only one affected, and you have tried almost everything — phone calls, letters, governmental agencies, and the local radio station’s Call for Action — all to no avail!
The situation is very serious, and you have exhausted every reasonable approach. Before you go further, determine who is responsible for this continuing condition. For the sake of argument, we’ll say it’s an absentee owner.
Now, find out where he lives. Drop in and visit him, unexpectedly, on a Sunday, when his wife and children are present. Act in a concerned, likeable, low-key manner. Never accuse him of neglect, because he’ll get angry if he loses face in front of his loved ones. 
Say the equivalent of, “Look—here’s my situation. I know you aren’t aware of it, because you wouldn’t tolerate it. I have a sick child, and the temperature in my unit is only 62 degrees. What do you think the problem is — a malfunction or defect in the pipes? What can I do? I know you can help me!“
Chances are, on stage, before his family, he won’t ignore your plight.
Moreover, he no longer knows of you as apartment 203, but rather, sees you as a person with very human needs.
There are no universal prescriptions for every specific Negotiation Situation. A particular combination of Facts Exists only at a particular time.
But some general principals always apply.
Keep these 2 things in mind:

1. It’s easy for people to shaft others if they don’t see them in personal terms.
2. Don’t let yourself become a bloodless statistic: a grain of sand that drops through someone’s fingers and vanishes in a floor crack. Don’t be like Lara in Dr. Zhivago, who became “a nameless number on a list that was mislaid.” People seldom bother with statistics. Their attitude is: “So, number 463 thinks he has a problem? Who cares?“

So Readers, Let’s take a Break here and we will continue with this Example in our Next Part.

“Negotiating Anything, Any Place : Taking it Personally (Part 7)“
Do Follow the Website for Future Updates.

Good Day Readers, we will discuss our 4th Example regarding this Topic. Do not Forget to check our Last Part for better understanding.
Follow up with our Website for Future Updates.
So Let’s start with our Example:
One of the instruments of modern life that enables the individual to be seen as a statistical speck is the computer. Have you ever received an erroneous letter, bill, or statement from a computer? 
If you have, you know how difficult it is to negotiate with a mechanical thing, You can call and write, but your opponent is programmed to be deaf and blind your pleas.
How do you et the correction you want?
First, let’s deal with a notice you receive in the form of a rectangular computer punch card marked, “Do not fold, tear or mutilate.” Here the solution is simple. Take a pair of scissors or a ballpoint pen and make one or two additional holes in the card.
Enjoy yourself and be creative as you violate their injunction, which makes use of the power of legitimacy. then print the change you desire on the card and mail it back.
When your unique card is put through the system, the computer will reject it, because of the original artwork. A human being will process it by hand. If their records justify the correction you want,  it will be made.
Second let’s contend with an erroneous computerized notice in the form of a letter or statement. In this case, call the organization and speak to the person handling your records. In most instances the changes you desire will be forthcoming.
Suppose, the same mistake appears the next month? Should this occur, type a “Personalized Letter” to the individual you spoke with and send a carbon copy to their superior and the top person in the organization.
The names of these people can easily be secured from secretaries or telephone operators.
The core of both approaches is to make contact with a mortal who sees you as a unique human being requiring help.

So Readers, we will continue with our 5th Example in our Next Part:
“Negotiating Anything, Any Place : Taking it Personally (Part 6)“

Dear Readers, In this Part we will be discussing another Example for better understanding.
So Let’s Begin
Now for the Third Example. 
When our middle child, Steven, was about to enter his final year of high school, he made extensive summer plans to hitchhike across America. As he put it, “It’ll be a great experience, and I won’t need much money or clothing.“
Needless to say, his parents were totally opposed to this idea. We presented him with the usual objections to such an undertaking: It’s physically dangerous; it’s illegal in certain areas; and it’s unpredictable.
After some discussion, he refuted these arguments logically.
Then we came up what we thought was a sure winner. “Okay“, we said, “But no one will give you a ride. People don’t pick up hitchhikers any more.“
Much to our surprise and dismay, Steven had thought of that problem also. He had purchased a gasoline can from a local filling station, with the intention of cleaning it and transforming the interior into a small dufflebag  or suitcase. 
Apparently, his cross-country trip was not a simple case of teen lunacy, but a goal supported by a well-conceived strategy. 
After months of talk and debate, we opted for “Benign Neglect,” allowing him to pursue his dream. When he returned safely, one of the first things he spoke about was the ease of getting lifts from passing vehicles.
Steven remarked that the first driver who stopped for him set the pattern for what was to follow. After proceeding several miles down the road with Steven, the motorist commented, “You walked a hell of a long way to get that gas.“
Steven replied, “Oh, I don’t own a car. This can is my suitcase. Don’t you think it’s easier to get rides this way?“
He said that this usually caused guffaws of laugher from the driver, followed by a friendly and informative dialogue. Although using your thumb as a means of transportation involves considerable risk, it worked well in his case.
By carrying that “Gasoline can“, he personalized himself and distinguished himself from the average hitchhiker. Passing drivers saw him, albeit mistakenly, as a pathetic human being whom they identified with and wanted to help.

So we will be discussing our 4th Example in the Next Part:

“Negotiating Anything, Any Place : Taking it Personally (Part 5)“

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Good Day Readers, In this we will start to discuss about the 2nd Example of  “Negotiating Anything, Any Place : Taking it Personally“.
So Let’s begin!
You are moving from San Jose to San Francisco in 6 months to reclaim your heart, left there previously. After endless days of looking for a higher residence, you learn about a building that is perfect for your family. 
The problem is that only one apartment will be available, and there are 30 names ahead of yours on the waiting list. You want to go from 31st to 1st on the list. How can you do the seemingly Impossible? How can you get what you want?
Go directly to nùmero uno, the ultimate decision maker — the building’s superintendent. He really is the person with the final say in this matter.
Bring your spouse and children with you. Coach the youngsters to behave, and if necessary, resort to “Parental Bribery“. All I am suggesting is reasonable dress, manners, and decorum. There’s no need for anyone, children included, to go to an extreme. Put differently, no one expects to rent to a perfect plastic couple named Ken and Barbie.
The point is that you want to appear as a responsible, suitable, stable, and desirable tenant. Keep in mind that the family selected becomes a neighbor of the superintendent, a group that he’s stuck with for the duration of the lease.
Based on a Past Experience, he knows that the tenants chosen can cause him untold irritation or could conceivably enrich his life. Learn as much as you can about him and his family. At the same time, make sure he sees you in personal, 3 dimensional, human terms.
Politely ask to see the apartment that will be available. If he counters with, “I’m sorry, but there are 30 people ahead of you!” don’t be deterred. Explain how far you traveled and say in effect, “I know we haven’t much of a chance, but can we just get an idea of what it looks like?“
Even if you cannot see that particular flat (it may be occupied), try to get the super to show you any apartment. As a last resort, how about his place? Throughout, you must convey the proper blend of tact, empathy, courtesy, considerations, persistence, affability, and thoughtfulness.
From the day on, whenever you are in the area stop by to visit with the super. Even if he tells you your chances are hopeless, maintain these contacts.
While the superintendent invests considerable chunks of time in you, elaborate on your circumstances, confide in him, and ask him for advice.
Detail who you work for, the kind of job you have, the organizations you belong to, the hours you keep, and your interests and hobbies. Do this till the superintendent knows you virtually as well as he knows his own family.
Thanks to your intensive personalizing efforts, what will happen when a vacancy occurs? the superintendent will glance at his list. His eyes will linger on the first name for a moment, but that’s all. 
You see, that name is nothing but a faceless label. He now has the option of renting the apartment to someone he knows nothing about and feels nothing toward — or he has the option of renting the apartment to you, about whom he knows plenty.
As we said earlier, “The devil known is better than the devil unknown.“
Chances are you’ll jump from 31st place to the top of the list.
You’ll get that apartment because of the superintendent’s investment and his identification with you. You have personalized the selection process. (Of course, this technique will work only where the superintendent has the power to make the selection. In other cases, you will to make use of other Negotiating Techniques.)

Now we will start with the Third Example in our Next Part: “Negotiating Anything, Any Place : Taking it Personally (Part 4)“
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