Dear Readers, How can we gain the commitment of others to you? Check our Last Part to follow up with this.
Let’s say you’re with an organization, and someone you’re Negotiating with is giving you a hard time. Persuade that person to be concerned about you, not the institution, or to be concerned about you via the Institution. Say the equivalent of:
“I happen to be with so-and-so — but didn’t you promise me you were going to do this? I was counting on you. I assured my boss about it. I told my family. I guaranteed the auditor. You aren’t going to let me down, are you?“
When the other party asks, “You aren’t taking this personally, are you?“
You positively reply, “Yes!” 
In other words, “Lay it on” the other party. Get him or her emotionally involved. It’s difficult for people to back off if you say the equivalent of, “I’d appreciate it if you’d do this as a favor to me.” 
Such phrases are extremely effective in personalizing situations. Of course, if you create an obligation on your part, it’s understood that you’ll reciprocate in kind when appropriate occasions arise.
This leads to the next question: How can you personalize yourself in some of your Negotiation encounters?
Following are some down-to-earth Illustrations:
Here’s the first Example.
Let’s say you’re driving 45 miles in hour in a 35 mile zone. A squad car, concealed in a shrub-lined driveway, bags you on its radar. A siren blares as it trails you in merciless pursuit. You curb your auto, muttering because of the inconvenience. A cop steps from the squad car, then ambles toward you, ticket pad in hand, eyes unreadable behind one-way-mirror sunglasses.
You feel as helpless as a small munchkin trying to play defense against Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. There’s no guaranteed way to Negotiate yourself out of this, but you can decrease your chances of getting a ticket in this situation.
Initially, get out of your car in a non-threatening manner. Meet him (sometimes today it’s her) with a complaint approach, as if to say, “I’m totally in your hands.” Do not sit in your vehicle with the windows rolled up. For all he knows, you may be high on drugs or a criminal with a handgun in your lap.
Nowadays, some officers get shot by crazies in similar situations. In essence, think of his/her needs and concerns, as well as your own.
While you tender your license, the turning point in the encounter will occur. You have 3 purposes at this juncture of the interaction:

1. To get mind off the ticket.
2. To have him see you in personal terms.
3. To prevent, or at least delay, his pressing his ballpoint pen against the pad of tickets

Start off by saying, “Boy, am i glad I found you, officer, because I’m list! I’ve been driving around in circles! How do I get to such-and-such a street?“
He’ll probably ignore your question for the moment and quickly interject, “Do you realize you were speeding?“
You now steer him back to the question by saying, “Yes, but I’m lost. I don’t know where I am!“
The Officer will invariably provide directions. While he does this, as an endless number of subsidiary questions — anything to keep him from writing. After he’s spent 5 minutes giving you explicit directions, and you’ve acted properly grateful, he’ll return to the subject at hand — your traffic violation.
At this point, try to make the officer feel Important by talking about the danger and difficulty of his job. Portray yourself as a law-abiding citizen, an average working person beset by problems. 
When he returns to your excessive speed, say, “Gee, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize that — It was just that I was thinking about—“Here, you recount personal dilemma that you confide in him. Everyone has something: a tyrannical boss, a sick spouse, an aged and arthritic parent, an installment payment that can’t be met, an unfaithful mate, or a disappointing child.
Make sure you let him know anything else that might bear upon his decision. Assuming you have a record without “blemi,” remark, “This will be my first ticket after 12 years of driving. I’d hate to have this tarnish my proud record!” Chances are, he’ll hesitate. Cops are reluctant to give anyone a first citation.
Whatever your excuse, it’s better if it’s unique and different. Keep an mind that this law-enforcement official has practically heard them all. If your saga is special and interesting, it meets his need for some entertainment in what is often a routine and monotonous job.
Moreover, he now has a “war story” to recount to his partner or colleagues back at the stationhouse.
Speaking of the uncommon excuse, I was told his story by a police commissioner at the F.B.I Academy: A policeman was about to ticket a person for driving the wrong way on a one-way street. Suddenly, the accused innocently asked, “Officer, has it occurred to you that the arrow might be pointing in the wrong direction?“
The story teller assumed me that this actually happened and that the ticket was never written — presumably as a reward for creativity. As Ripley said, Believe it — or not!Whatever you do, don’t remain seated in your car and give the officer a hard time when he queries you. Never make “Macho” statement like: “So, give me a ticket! I’ll fight this all the way to the Supreme Court!“
“I want you to know I’m a person of great wealth and influence.“
“Radar’s no good, and you know it. Scientifically, your apparatus isn’t all that accurate.“
Women are probably more effective than men as Negotiators in such situations. Statistics show that when a speeding auto is clocked by radar, there is no awareness of the driver’s gender. Yet somehow, as a group, women receive about 25% fewer citations per thousand drivers than men.
Most women, when stopped, seem to follow the techniques we are outlining. They get out of the car, seem contrite, act friendly, and try to relate to the officer on a human level. I grant you that the 25% variation occurred with predominantly male police officers.
However, even with the ever increasing number of females in Law Enforcement, I don’t believe the statistics will change much. Let’s face it, in these instances, many women are better at “Personalizing“.

Let’s look at a 2nd Example in our Next Part.

“Negotiating Anything, Any Place : Taking it Personally (Part 3)“
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Good Day Readers, Today we are going to start our Next Topic which is “Taking it Personally“.
Let’s see in Detail what it really means?
Within our own lifetimes, the accelerating pace of change and the other increasing complexity of problems stagger even the experts. All organizations have grown — larger and away from us.
As a result, some people feel like strangers, like ciphers lost in the crowd. Such an attitude is a curious blend of apathy and despair. The apt metaphor is Franz Kafka’s The Castle, with its red tape and faceless masses waiting in endless lines.
It’s as if we have become depersonalized, like minute particles of some great statistical census — working ants in the giant anthill of life.
But it wasn’t always this way. You may recall a time when, even in a large city, people went into neighborhood store and the owner greeted them by name. Although this way of doing business may have been less efficient than modern commerce, it was somehow more satisfying.
Obviously, I am not advocating that we “Return to those thrilling days of yesteryear.” 
What I am suggesting is that if you are to negotiate effectively, the other party must not see you as a statistic, a thing, a commodity, or an article of commerce. If you present yourself as a unique, vulnerable human being, there is greater likelihood that you will get what you want.
How many of us can be indifferent to those we see in human terms without being indifferent to ourselves? Deep down, most people know that their own welfare is related to the welfare of others. 
Any slight of my neighbor eventually becomes an injury to myself.
Theoretically, we may know that “No man is an Island,” but faced with the pressures of daily living, we tend to forget this interdependence. Therefore, it’s up to you to humanize yourself so that you are not seen as a depersonalized statistic.
No one identifies with large numbers, but almost everyone commiserates with the anguish of a flesh-and-blood person.
This fact is implicit in the reputed comment of Samuel Adams, just prior to the American Revolution. During the planning of the Boston Massacre, Adam was reported to have said something to this effect: “There ought to be no fewer than 3 or 4 killed so we will have Martyrs for the Revolution. However, there should be no more than 20, because once you get beyond that number we no longer have Martyrs, but simply a Sewage Problem.“
Aside form Adam’s callous remarks and their ethical implications, his theory was correct. To maximize the Impact of an event, people must be able to Identify with those involved and with the circumstances.
When the Second World War was over, we learned the statistical magnitude of the atrocities committed against humankind. We could not fathom the absolute evil perpetrated by the Nazis and their countless millions of silent and passive accomplices. For the average person, the numbers were incomprehensible.
More than anything else, it was the writings of a teenage Jewish girl that helped people understand some of the horror that had taken place.
While hiding from the Nazis, she wrote a vivid and tender account of her experiences. Her words expressed Innocence, Optimism, and Humanity that produced an Emotional Impact. 
This was, of course, Anne Frank: Diary of a Young Girl, published in 1947 and later made into a play and a film that affected the world.
Accordingly, to maximize your impact as a Negotiator — no matter whom you are dealing with — you must personalize both yourself and the situation.
How do you personalize yourself? You make the other party see you as a unique, flesh-and-blood, 3 dimensional Individual, someone who has feelings and needs, someone the other person likes, cares about, and somehow feels obligated to — at least someone the other person wants to do something for.
How do you Personalize the Situation? The answer is Simple. Try not to Negotiate on behalf of an Institution or Organization, no matter how Large or small. Negotiate on behalf of yourself, representing the Institution.
Let me Elaborate. Few of us keep commitments to sterile institutions. They are too Remote, Lifeless, and Abstract to create a sense of obligation or concern. No one, except an architect, cares a hoot about bricks, glass, steel, and concrete.
Institutions are cold and lifeless. That’s why IBM, Con Edison, General Electric, Ma Bell, the IRS, and other abstract entities get zapped so often. ( Typical attitude: “What’s the difference if the Mobil Oil Corporation loses $100,000? It’s not even half a cent a share!“) 
That’s why it’s self-defeating to Negotiate on behalf of prosperous organizations, and it’s self-defeating to Negotiate on behalf of prosperous organizations, and obviously, that’s why phrases like the following usually fall on their faces: 
“On behalf of the Bensonhurst Chamber of Commerce we’d like you to —“
“For the benefit of the Boy Scouts of America, we want you to —“
“For the sake of financial solvency, the National Organization of Women requests that you fulfill your pledge.“
So if you represent the March of Dimes, the state of California, the United Way, the local women’s club, the New York City Transit Authority, or what have you, and you’re supposed to gain the commitment of others to these impersonal entities per se (virtually an impossibility), 
What can you do? Yo can Personalize.
You can Gain the commitment of others to you.
Here’s what I mean. 

Let’s take a break and discuss more of this in our Next Part: “Negotiating Anything, Any Place : Taking it Personally (Part 2)“

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Dear Readers, In Todays Part we will be discussing about 5th and Final Example regarding “Moving up” 
Here’s the 5th “Moving Up” Example. 
Your youngest son, who’s in 7th grade, is having a terrible time with mathematics. It isn’t that he’s not bright: He’s a crackerjack at English. But he can’t seem to grasp anything quantifiable.
Why? His mathematics teacher humiliated him in front of classmates because he failed to show up for special help after school when ordered to do so. Now he has a mental block regarding numbers. 
That’s bad enough. What’s worse is that if this teacher doesn’t give him a begrudging nod, you son won’t advance into English grade. the boy’s hypersensitive. It would wipe out his Psyche.
How do you Negotiate your kid into English grade? Obviously, I am assuming that this outcome is just and beneficial to all Parties concerned.
It’s crucial that you confront the math teacher before he actually gives and records the flunking grade for the year.
Once a grade is on the schools records, it’s almost set in concrete, so to speak. This presupposes that your child confides in you regarding his predicament. You must have a good relationship with your offspring — a relationship of mutual trust, based on acceptance of each other’s shortcoming.
It is also crucial that you see the math teacher in person. Don’t Negotiate with him on the phone. Saying no on the phone is easy. Being unreasonable on the phone is easy. Saying no and being unreasonable face to face is something else again.
When you huddle with the teacher, personalize like mad. Make sure he favorably perceives you, and your needs, with everyone of his Nerve endings. If that doesn’t work, immediately Appeal to the Next Level in the school system’s hierarchy. 
Keep climbing the Ladder, if need be, till you closet yourself with the superintendent of schools.
Normally, the superintendent of schools will be much more understanding of the stalemate than will the Math Teacher. Why? Because the superintendent is intensely political. 
He/She perceives you, not only as complaining, concerned parent, but as a Taxpayer — a taxpayer who can address the school board at its next meeting, along with fellow disgruntled parents, and initiate a mass movement to reduce school taxes. 
That remote possibility, and the possibility of concurrent Negative Publicity, makes the superintendent shudder.
Will your son pass into 8th Grade? Yes — if you move fast. The higher you go in any administrative Pyramid, the better off you are. Those in the rarefied air of the higher altitudes are more flexible and pragmatic than those at the bottom of the pyramid. They’re more willing to Flex so-called unbendable rules.
A Final Word about Moving Up. In most sizeable communities, there are all sorts of people and groups you can appeal to for help, such as the Better Business Bureau, the Chamber of Commerce, consumer groups, Call for Action operations on TV or in the Newspapers, and even legislators. 
Don’t Hesitate to Plug in to such Facilities. To quote Hubert Humphrey on the subject of principal: “Never Give Up and Never Give In“
Dear Readers, here we will end our Topic of  Moving Up. We had discussed this Topic in Detail with Examples so that you can Understand and Apply it in your Daily Life for Success.

Next Topic we will be discussing about 
“Negotiating Anything, Any Place : Taking it Personally”  Do Not Forget to Follow My Website for Future Updates.

Good Day Readers, Today we are going to start our 4th Example regarding “Moving Up“. 
So Let’s Start; Here’s the 4th “Moving up” Example.
You and a friend decided to Rent a Rustic Summer cottage for weekend use, 60 miles from the city in which you live. When you arrive, the first weekend, you discover that the cottage needs an incredible amount of repair work.
The doors don’t open and close properly, the plumbing is faulty, much of the wiring demands attention, and the kitchen range is a disaster area. Fortunately, you’re clever with your hands. Unfortunately, you haven’t brought tools, parts, or very much money with you.
Leaving your companion to sweep floors and wash windows, you drive to a nearby town and enter a convenient hardware store. After an hour of searching, you find all the parts you need, plus the tools required to attach and fit them where they belong.
the shopping cart you’ve been wheeling up and down the aisles is full. You push it to a check-out counter, and the clerk at the cash register rings up the total of $84.00.
“Eighty-Four Dollars!” you exclaim. “That’s unbelievable! I’ll have to write out a check.” 
“Sorry,” says the clerk. “This store doesn’t accept checks.“
Let’s Freeze the Frame. Why doesn’t this hardware store accept checks?  At one time it did, but it was burned. 3% of the checks it received bounced. Universalizing from that 3%, the Proprietor adopted a new store policy.Frowning like Scrooge, he proclaimed to those at the cash registers, “Don’t accept checks, ever!” That’s why the clerks at the cash registers unthinkingly obey this Iron-Clad Rule, making no exceptions.And then you show up. “You have to accept my check,” you state.”Otherwise, I won’t be able to move into the cottage I’ve Rented.” “Sorry,” repeats the clerk. “I have my orders.” “Who gave you those orders?” you ask.”The Owner,” he replies”I want to Speak to him,” you say.The Proprietor appears. “What’s the story?” he asks. “I need these tools and parts,” you answer, “And your clerk won’t accept a check.” He stares at the shoppingcart. “How much does all that come to?“”$84,” you reply.”You don’t have the cash?” he asks.”No, but my credit’s first-rate. I bank at the State National in Middletown.” 
Let’s stop the Action again. Are you in a good bargaining position, despite store policy? Yes. The best time to Negotiate for Acceptance of a check is after you’ve used a store’s services. The Proprietor is staring at the $84′ worth of parts and tools in your shopping cart.He’s thinking, “Oh, my God, if this meatball says, ‘Forget it!’ and walks out the Front door in a huff, I have to take all these items, one by one, and put them back on the shelves. That’ll take forever!”  Will he accept your check? Yes, if you sow him Paper Identification, then give him your bank’s phone number, as well as the phone number of the outfit you work for. Remember: In most instances, an order-enforcing subordinate is simply a mouthpiece, acting in a robot like manner.
Sidestep Robots. Negate any policy that’s detrimental to your Interests by taking a step upward. The person who gives the Policy in light of your particular situation. Often, they are grateful for this opportunity.

Dear Readers, here is the end of the 4th example we discussed. In our Next Part we will Discuss 5th and Final Example regarding “Moving up“. Do not Forget to Follow my Website for Future Updates.   
“Negotiating Anything, Any Place : Moving Up (Part 7)“

Dear Readers, we are continuing to talk about this further, do check Previous Parts for much Better Understanding.
So, What happened Next, “Oh, no — you have that all wrong,” you state quietly. “Those weren’t additions. they were badly needed repairs. The house was falling apart. You should have seen it! If I hadn’t done what I did, it would have resembled a tarpaper shack!” 
The auditor smiles wrylu, as though suffering from a gas pain. Even a literalist can have a sense of humor. This is another matter of judgement.
Therefore, another question mark is scrawled. You now have a 3rd matter that can be moved up the pyramid.
You can come a cropper on the 4th point of contention. You claim, on your Tax return, that you paid $1,400 in quarterly Tax payments. The IRS has proof that you paid only $900.00. The figure you put down was a slip-up — an honest mistake on your part.
You filled out the form late at night, and your mind was tired. Here the IRS does have you dead to rights. It’s not a matter of judgement. there’s no chance to Appeal. You must make up the $500.00 difference.
But what if the auditor disagrees with you on those other points: your charitable contributions, home depreciation, and property enhancement?
The answer is simple. If you acted honestly and believe you are right, start moving up. Appeal. First make an appointment with an IRS examiner.
If that get-together doesn’t satisfy you, make an appointment with a member of the Office of the Regional Director of Appeals. If that get-together doesn’t satisfy you, take your case to court — either a United States Tax Court, a united States court of claims, or a United States district court.
In short, even if only a small amount is involved, appeal, if you’re inclined. You have Constitutional Rights. Lean on them. You also have guts. Use them.
One Final Note about Negotiating with the IRS: If various auditors and examiners demand that you produce additional verification for everything, as if you were a magician who can yank rabbits from hats, don’t rush.
Get Delays. tell whomever you’re dealing with that it’s going to take a long, long time to run down the required records. Use Time, and learn to live with the ambiguity, because it will save you money in the long run.
Remember, the IRS is eager to close your file. Fencing with you requires People, Time, and Money. The effort expended on your case produces a very poor return, and they know it. So continue to say, ” Look, I’m sure I’m Right. Perhaps we can work something out.” 
Eventually, even when it believes it’s right, the IRS is willing to Negotiate matters of this type. As you move up you will find more understanding for your point of view. the higher-ups know that sound tax administration requires flexibility in dealing with questions of judgement about trivial sums.

So Readers, In Next Part We are going to discuss another Example so Do not Forget to Follow my Page for future Updates.

“Negotiating Anything, Any Place : Moving Up ( Part 6 )”