Attachment and the Fear of Loss

Another type of Manipulation in Romantic Relationships is one that Preys on a Person`s Fear of Loss and Sense of Attachment or Addiction to the Manipulator. This can be one of the most effective when it comes to Long-Term Manipulation because of the strength of the Target`s Fear and Aversion to loss or doing anything to Jeopardize Losing Possession.

Many People don`t think of themselves as being Addicted to Possessions, but the Truth is that when a person develops a Relationship with another Human Being, part of that presence is a formed attachment that receives reinforcement the longer he/she stays with that Partner.

Love can be gained and Lost overtime, but the attachment and habitual presence of a Partner can be something that is very hard to overcome, and this is what makes the loss of a loved one or partner so difficult to manage, even if there has been an estrangement in Terms of Romantic Love or Affection.

A lot of Success in this Particular Tactic Depends on the Nature and Personality of the Victim. This is why choosing a victim who is Susceptible to being controlled and manipulated in this way is an important first step should the manipulator have the opportunity to choose.

Alternatively, this type of Manipulation might Manifest Later on as changes take place in the Relationship and the More Dominant Partner Decides to take advantage of this Trait in order to maintain control or Gain access to some different type of Reward.

Once this vulnerability is known to the abuser, it is just a matter of time before he can enact control over the target using threats such as Abruptly leaving the victim and arousing the fear of abandonment. The user may threaten to divorce the subject or leave him/her for another partner, or the abuser play around with these kinds of threats by talking about how desirable another person is, how he/she might like to be with that person if they weren`t with the target to doubt more and more her own capability of staying in a relationship and “keeping” a man at her side.

This will build toward the degradation of self-confidence and identity, playing into a whole new level of emotional manipulation as described in the previous sections.

The tactic of pulling away, stringing along behind, then rewarding with a brief return is one way to put Tactic into Hyperdrive. That period of alone time without the Partner can often work to inflame that sense of Fear and Anxiety about the Loss so that when the Partner does Finally throw the Target a Bone, she Responds with desperation and a willingness to go along with anything the partner wants in order to get him back into her Life.

All three of these Manipulation tactics used within Relationships can be Effective alone or Together as a combination of Tactics. The Decision Regarding the Tactic being used is often dictated by how much the Target begins to show her colors regarding her own emotional vulnerabilities. The abuser who chooses to pay attention to these signals and then exploits those areas of vulnerability is a malicious type of an abuser who has chosen to put his own Emotional needs and desires ahead of that of the partner or target he has chosen.

Sometimes, this switch to an abusive spouse happens down the road, following a traumatic event, and sometimes, this is something the road, following a traumatic event, and sometimes, this is something the abuser will go to Great lengths to hide until he is married and feels secure in his position of Power and Dominance over the Partner.

Other times, the Manipulator has been an abuser his whole Life, being in this particular field and has possibly put a lot of thought and Preparation into his choice of Partner and how he will enact his manipulation Tactics and Control after the Relationship has been established under false pretenses.

Just as a mother of a son who becomes a violent criminal cannot often completely lose the love and attachment for her child, the Partner of an abusive partner may find it incredibly difficult to tear herself away from the situation when she has grown to Truly Love the abuser and has formed a strong bond and sense of attachment to him.

as mentioned before, the additional factors involved, such as children, can work against the victim to keep her locked in a situation. This makes her feel trapped and as though she cannot go to anyone else for help, whether she`s been threatened directly by the abuser or these fears are only in her head.So, we have Discussed quite a bit about Manipulating Partners, in next Chapter we will Discuss:

” Acceptable Influence vs Toxic Manipulation ”