Dear Readers, Good Day again and Welcome to ( Part 3 ) of ( Information ) . This is the Part of 3 Crucial Variables, that is an Important Part of Negotiations.
So we are continuing this Part and Discuss few More Points Today, As An Example of this was the American Public’s initial reaction toward the impeachment of President Richard Nixon.
When this idea was first raised, a survey was taken of 1600 people, presumably a cross-section of the electorate. The reaction was 92% against, and the reasons given were: “I never heard of this before,” “Why, it would weaken the office of the presidency,” and “It would serve as a bad precedent for future generations.“
Three Months Later another poll was taken of the same people, and those not in favor of the proposition dropped to 80% .
After the passage of a few more months the same respondents were 68% against impeachment. When the final interviews were conducted, less than a year after these people were first contacted, 60% were for the impeachment of the president.
How come all those people changed their minds? Obviously there were 2 reasons:
- They had received additional information.
- They had become used to what originally was a new idea.
Remember that change and new ideas are acceptable only when presented slowly in the bite-size fragments. Keep that in mind when trying to alter someone’s viewpoint, thinking, perceptions, and expectations.
For most people, it’s easier and more comfortable to stay in the groove. The fact that the difference between a rut and a groove is just a matter of degree doesn’t seem to bother them. Only through perseverance can you hope to change them and implement your goals.
When you finally arrive at the negotiating event, you must discipline yourself to practice effective listening techniques. If you are carefully concentrating on what’s going on, you can learn a great deal about the other side’s feelings, motivation, and real needs.
Of Course, attentive Listening and Understanding what is being omitted. People are reluctant to lie outright, but some are not hesitant to fudge, circumvent, or evade.
When you begin to hear generalities, that’s your cue to start asking specific questions in order to clarify what is actually being said.
The study and interpretation of cues has become very popular in recent years. A cue is a message sent indirectly whose meaning may be ambiguous and require interpretation.
Essentially they fall into 3 basic categories:
- Unintentional Cues, in which behavior or words transmit an inadvertent message ( For Example, The Freudian Slip );
- Verbal Cues, in which voice intonation or emphasis sends a message that seems to contradict the words being spoken;
- Behavioral Cues, which are the language of the body as displayed in posture, facial expressions, eye contact, and hand gestures, where a person sits at a conference table, who nudges whom or who pats whom on the shoulder ( Presumably, in our culture, pattors have more power than pattees).
To further explain what we mean by behavioral cues or “Non-verbal Vibes“, let me set the scene. A husband has been away on a business trip for an extended period. He has lived as ascetic life on the Road, and Longing has built up in his heart.
Walking toward his house, suitcase in hand, he notices that the light are somewhat dim. Moving closer he hears soft music emanating from the house. He quickens his Pace as anxiety begins to build.
Then he notices a woman, who appears to be his wife, standing in the doorway in a diaphanous gown, a martini in each hand.
He calls out to her, “Where are the Kids?“
She Responds, “They won’t be home for hours.“
Now, I ask you, is that a cue or is that a cue? To some of us the cue may be that we’re in the wrong house!
The point is that we all live in a world where nonverbal signals are being transmitted and received. How does a wife tell a husband that tonight’s the night, when ordinarily it’s not the night,
Does she write him a memo, “Re: Activities for the evening-please disregard prior schedule“?
Conversely, how does a wife Inform a husband that tonight’s not the night, when ordinarily it is? The latter is more familiar occurrence for some of us.
From the time we were Infants, we all learned to communicate our needs, likes, and dislikes to others without resorting to words. this ability has remained with us, and it often appears in the form of a raised eyebrow, a smile, a touch, a scowl, a wink, or a reluctance to make eye contact during a conversation. These actions are all behavioral cues, or a form of body language.
People have become fascinated with the art of sending and decoding nonverbal messages ( Reading Behavioral Cues ), as evidenced by the growing number of published writings and lectures on the subject.
Authorities have even given legitimacy to this field by labeling it the science of proxemics- the study of space and the movement of people within it. As for the value of this wordless language in Negotiation, it is definitely limited.
The interpretation of most body language is obvious; nevertheless, it may be misleading to ascribe some universal meaning to an isolated gesture, regardless of the circumstances.
Here’s an example of a situation in which the interpretation is rather obvious. Because of an unexpected early-morning errand, you get a delayed start for work. Arriving out of breath, you notice that the boss is sitting at your desk.
As you Approach, he leans back in your chair, puts his hands behind his head, and spreads his elbows wide. With his eyes on the wall clock he casually remarks, “Do you know what time it is?“
Assuming that the boss can tell time, you don’t have to be an expert to know what’s going on.
As for trying to catalog and give meaning to each and every body gesture, the following example should suffice.
Assume that you are trying to sell me a service or a product, and in the middle of the sales pitch I begin stroke my chin with my thumb and forefinger. What does that mean?
Have I decided to buy or not? I don’t think anyone has any idea what it means. Freud wouldn’t have known what it meant. It may indicate that I have a pimple, that I cut myself while shaving, that I’m trying to make a cleft like Cary Grant’s, that I’m trying to cover my double chin, or that I have a neuromuscular habit that I’m unaware of.
Although I’m saying that trying to interpret one single cue in isolation is a waste of time, a senstivity to what is really being communicated is Important. If some people have become paranoid about picking up on nonverbal vibes, more people are completely literal.
These are the audio-visual types who believe on what they can see and hear. Invariably they say things like, “Let’s put it in writing,” “Around here we go by the book,” and finally, When literalists see the “hand writing on the wall,” they don’t even read the message but closely examine the penmanship.
To Paraphrase H.L Mencken,a literalist is one who, upon observing that a rose smells better than a cabbage, concludes that it will also make better soup.
So Readers, In next Part we will Discuss more about this Topic. As short Topics will help you Understand things Much Better and to have success and be successful Patience is the right way to Learn things.
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