Winning at all Costs: Soviet Style | Emotional Tactics ( Part 3 )

Dear Readers, As we continue with Part 3 of Emotional Tactics: Soviet Style, I just want to say Don’t Forget to Follow My Website for Future Updates.
So, as we were discussing, Imagine this situation: A husband and wife meet after work at a quiet restaurant for dinner. Halfway through the meal she informs him of a wonderful promotion, with a 50 % salary increase, that has been offered her if she relocates to a different part of the country. 
From his expression, it is apparent that he does not share her pride and excitement.
He remarks, “But what about me and my Job?“
She Responds, “Don’t worry- you can come with me. As for that job, you can equal it anywhere!“
Suddenly, without warning, he curtly says, “Excuse me.” He stands up and walks towards the door.
5 minutes after the unexpected departure, amidst her conflicting feelings, she is thinking what happened and evaluating her current situation:
Did he leave because he was upset?Is he all right?Maybe he only went to put money in the parking meter.Perhaps he’s in the rest room or making a phone call.Did I say anything to hurt him?Is he depressed or just envious?Do I have sufficient cash to pay the bill?Did he have an accident?Has he left me for Good?Is he coming back?How will I get home?
To further increase her anxiety, the waiter asks, “Should I serve both entrées now or hold them under the keep-hot lights until your friend returns?“
Speaking of raising anxiety, the veiled threat is potent weapon. It makes use of the other side’s imagination because what they think might happen is always more frightening because what they think might happen is always more frightening than what could happen. You see , if an opponent believes someone has the capacity to execute a threat, the threat perceived is more fearsome than the threat enacted.
For instance, if I were involved in an adversary negotiation with you and wanted to elevate your stress level, I would adroitly use ambiguities and generalities. I’d never say the equivalent of “I’ll fracture your right Index Finger!“
That’s not only too specific, but it’s downright boorish.
Instead, I’d look you right in the eye and say, “I never forget a face, and I always pay my debts!” Who knows what that even means? Yet if you thought I had the capacity and determination and was crazy enough, it might effect your composure. 
Of course, a shrewd Soviet will rarely carry out a threat- only enough to keep his power credible; because once the threat is enacted, the stress is reduced and the other side adjust and copes.
In 1979, there was the possibility of a police strike in New Orleans that might cause the Annual Mardi Gras to be canceled. As long as this was credible threat, the union organizers had maximum power in negotiating with the city of recognition.
Once they made the mistake of actually going on strike and causing the Mardi Gras to be curtailed and public opinion to shift against them, they lost all bargaining leverage. The upshot was that the teamsters’ attempt to organize a police union was thwarted.
Several years ago I went to Ravinia, a music festival held each summer in a suburb north of Chicago. Since close parking is always a problem, I was elated to find a space on a quite private road not too far from the event.
As I got out of my auto I noticed that the car directly behind me had what looked like an advertising circular on the windshield. Being inquisitive, I stopped to read it, and I reprint its contents below:

“This vehicle is parked on Private Property. The make, model and license number have been recorded. If this improper parking is repeated a second time this vehicle will be towed to Klempner Brothers where the interior will be removed by fire and the auto will be compressed into a scrap cube approximately 1 1/4 * 3′. The cube will be shipped ( height collect ) to your home for use as a coffee table and to serve as a constant reminder not to park on Private Property.“

Undoubtedly, this was some sort of Joke. But not knowing the stability of the author, and needing a car more than a coffee table, I decided to find another parking space.
Although there are a great many other Emotional Tactics, it is fitting to close this representative sampling with one that should sound familiar.
Listen to the following Telephone conversation between a mother and her mature and independent offspring.
Mother: Hello, Pat! Do you know who this is? It’s your –Pat: Gee, Mom, how are you? I’ve been meaning to call. Mother: It’s Okay- you don’t have to call me. I’m only your mother. Why should you have to spend a dime? Pat: Aw, Mom, C’mon. I’ve been very busy at work. How do you feel? Mother: How does a person my age feel? Listen, I am celebrating your 29th birthday this Saturday night and have invited my best friends from the club to meet you. I’ve ordered a beautiful cake and bought your favorite food, so ….Pat: But mother, I intended to go away this weekend. I told you about-Mother:  You mean you can’t find a few hours on your busy schedule for me? Pat: No, it’s not that. It’s just that I’ve planned this trip and have made –Mother:  All right Pat, I understand. I’m sorry to bother you. I’ll just tell my friends that you are too busy for me. Pat: Please, Mom- I’m not saying that. Mother:  No, I understand. Don’t concern yourself about me. I’ll manage somehow. After all, no law says a child has to see his mother.
Maybe this sketch is somewhat melodramatic, but the Tactic is easily recognizable as Giving Guilt. In the 2000 Year Old Man, Mel Brooks does a great caricature of the use of guilt.
He has a mother and father trudge through the rain to visit their son’s cave. Upon arrival, they are warmly greeted and invited inside. But they meekly stand outside, saying, “It’s okay. It’s good enough for us to stand in the rain. We don’t mind.“
The bestowal of guilt occurs in close relationships, but it also is used beyond the circle of friends and family. Have you ever asked your boss for a raise and heard him respond, “You think you’ve got a complaint, let me tell you about the cross I have to bear“? 
Whatever the injustice of your case, his grievances with top management make yours pale by comparison. you have just been one-upped. When you leave the martyr’s presence you feel selfish for even bothering him with your pretty complaint.
Well, Readers we will discuss why do people use Emotional Maneuvers and study in more depth about this Point in our Next Part.

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“Winning at all Costs: Soviet Style | Emotional Tactics ( Part 4 )“