How To Avoid Brianwashing?

Knowing we are all human beings and susceptible to manipulation that targets emotions, desires, and other areas where people are generally quite vulnerable, how can you defend yourself against someone who is trying to use these against you in a brainwashing attempt?

The advice here follows the advice given in the previous chapters, where potential manipulation is involved. You must maintain awareness in all situations and consider the possibility that the people you are talking to are not who they say they are.

The golden rule in situations like this is the following. If it seems too good to be true, then it probably is.

Similar to financial scheme in which someone tricks others into investing in false promises or nonexistent entities, the person or “business” is convinced as something where they can make a whole lot of money for very little time, effort, and personal risk. This happens a lot of the time. It is quite impossible, and people should be aware of the schemes at work in the real world, which prey on people`s simple desires for money and to get it the easy way.

On a deeper level, there are those who know that they can manipulate their way into someone`s heart and circle of trust by promising quick fixes for the things which plague many human beings. These are things that have to do with deep spiritual fulfillment or finding peace or meaning in daily life, which sometimes seems like a road full of emptiness, especially when there are hardships to work through.

Be aware of those deepest vulnerabilities that you harbor in yourself, and work to find your own way to fulfillment and satisfaction or meaning. Do not put yourself in other human beings where this deepest desire is concerned because this is the gateway for emotional manipulation and brainwashing according to another person or group`s will.

Remember that the most important things in life are worked for and sought after for a long period of time and only with the help of those you love, trust, and respect based on your own choosing and experience with them. Do not let people, who promise answers to all your problems, come into your life because quick fixes just don`t exist.

Be aware of the ulterior motives that might exist. Do not reveal personal information that might be used against you, but instead, make others prove themselves trustworthy through tests of time and trial.

Now that you know the general workings behind Brainwashing Techniques keep in mind that genuine relationships happen naturally and not according to a timeline. In the example above, Marsha fell into a trap based on her own feelings and was able to fall right in line according to a very short timeline where she should have been developing a meaningful relationship with these women with whom she chose to share personal information and issues.

A large factor in this downfall was an element of group pressure where everyone around her was acting a certain way, and this made her feel like she should be acting in the same way, too. And this involved divulging her deepest struggles. If something similar feels like having an impression on you and your behavior, it is best to remove yourself from the situation so that you have time to think clearly about what`s going on.  

Anytime you feel doubt about a new Interaction and Acquaintance, let the people already in your life, whom you love and trust, help you work through what you truly feel regarding that budding relationship. Someone else might be able to pinpoint red flags when you are too distracted to notice them yourself.

So, We have discussed in this chapter “Defenses against Brainwashing” which can help you understand people around you much better.

In Next Chapter, we will be Discussing  

“ Neuro-Linguistic Programming “

Good Day Readers, Today we will be discussing Part -2 of “Defenses Against Brain Washing“

So, We were talking about Marsha, we will continue from where we left from our last part.

So, After Marsha read this email, Marsha immediately feels a sense of excitement about the prospect and immediately has a conversation with her husband to see how he might feel about it.

Marsha describes the group as a bunch of women who get together and socialize and talk about their lives. It is women-only, and he turns his brow up a bit at that remark but soon decides that it seems like a harmless undertaking and encourages his wife to try a meeting or two if that is what she wants to do. 

He is happy that she is excited about trying this out, as he has also picked up on the fact that she hasn1t been completely happy or seemed fulfilled personally for a while. So, Marsha plans to go to the next meeting.

The meeting is held at one of the members` homes, and the place feels quite cozy and inviting as Marsha enters. There are a few fragrant candles around, and as she moves into the room, every one of the women there comes forward and introduces herself with a smile. Marsha immediately felt at home and welcomed.

She is offered refreshments and then invited down and speak with a couple of women in the living room. There are a few different conversations evolving at once instead of one big discussion, which helps Marsha feel at ease as she was worried about being asked to speak in front of a large group. Instead, she begins conversing with a small group of three other women who listen intently as Marsha introduces herself and what`s going on in her life.

She already feels much more at ease as she is being listened to. The conversation continues, and the other women also talk about their lives and open themselves up in terms of vulnerability as the describe some things that they are struggling with personality.

Marsha is struck by how they feel comfortable talking about such personal things with these women, but it also makes her feel like these women could become close friends with whom she could feel confide some of her personal issues herself. She offers her own insights and suggestions as each of the ladies speak, and she begins to divulge details about her own like and her own sense of missing something important and meaningful.

In this first meeting, there will not be any overt mention of the gathering`s hidden intentions in the situation where there are any. The goal for an initial meeting is to make the potential initiate feel as safe and secure as possible.

They want to surround her with warmth and make her feel like she can trust these women who only have her best interests at heart. This essential step works to encourage the victim to let her guard down and to feel like she can reveal areas of vulnerability, which will be the cult`s secret weapon.

Once the women know Marsha`s area of vulnerability, they can home in on that factor as a way to gradually convince her that they can help and bring her fulfillment and happiness in all the ways she is looking for. After this initial meeting, she is likely to come back and then continue to come as something she looks forward to each week.

As the meetings continue, she will start to think of these women as friends, as they also work toward convincing Marsha that they have answers to her problems. At some point, when the timing is right, the women might introduce one of the cult`s covert practices, which involves goings-on that are quite foreign to her. 

But because of her developed relationship and sense of trust between the women, as well as her natural curiosity, Marsh agrees to attend and watch a ritual where the women turn their attention to some kind of deity at work, taking care of their souls and granting desires in exchange for services.

Now, obviously, this example is a little out there, but the focus here is on the gradual manipulation process which works to enfold a victim into a circle of warmth where things they would never have considered involving themselves in before becoming more and more possible because of the prior conditioning received from the women. 

After all, at this point, she is receiving information and suggestions from people she considers friends, and with that comes a level of trust and suspension of disbelief for their sake.

The ritual is explained in terms that are not too intimidating, and the terms are often less dramatic than how other people would define these proceedings. The word cult is never used, for example, and the words used to describe everything are soft, if not entirely inaccurate. This is slowly to let Marsha get used to the idea of what is happening without flipping a switch that starts to signal red flags.

The emphasis is put on the fact that these proceedings have helped the women in the group solve their problems and find solace and peace and fulfillment – things that Marsha has also been looking for in her life. the very fact that these promises seem to be targeted directly toward her makes her feel as if she has fallen into the hands of destiny, and it has finally let her find what she has been looking for.

When people`s deepest desires and wants are revealed, and something manifests a promise of fulfillment in return, people are likely to engage in practices and belief systems that would have seemed outlandish and ridiculous in the past.

But a cult never underestimates human desire for spiritual fulfillment and peace, so they have learned how to tap into the darkest corners of another person`s mind in order to root out those hidden desires and needs.

At this point, Marsha is all but initiated and fully involved in the cult`s way of life and belief system.

So, in this Topic we saw how gradually manipulation is initiated. In Part -3 the Next Topic of this chapter we will Discuss

“How to Avoid Brainwashing“

The Parent as the Manipulator

Now, we will look at an example of Emotional Manipulation where the tables are turned – the child is the victim of abuse by the parent.

A young girl named Anna has grown up with her mother and a stepfather who has never really concerned himself with developing a relationship with her. The two met when Anna was 11, and now, she is 13 and getting ready for high school.

Anna`s mom spends as much time with her as possible, though Anna`s Stepfather often forms a divide between them as he introduces ultimatums about who Anna`s Mom will spend time with and how he will leave if she can`t pay enough attention to him.

In this situation, both the mother and daughter are under the influence of emotional abuse, but in different ways. The mother feels that she has a responsibility to both, through the husband tries to manipulate her into feeling as if she is neglecting their relationship.

The Daughter is made to feel as if she is taking time away from her mother and stepfather, and she sees the clearly visible frustration and the rage that develops whenever she comes to her mother. This happens especially when she seeks Attention and support as she enters High School and is Nervous about changes.\

The way the stepfather maintains this kind of emotional abuse cycle is when the victim relents and gives him what he wants – mostly an admission that he is right and they are wrong and an apology. He then Responds with that he is right and they are wrong and an apology.

He then responds with apparent warmth and understanding and gives them just enough hope that he might be changing to keep the relationship going. The daughter is not at the point where she is going to lash out and try to yell some sense into her mother, and the mother does not yet feel that her husband`s requests are inconsiderate or selfish.

This is all because of the way he responds when they finally relent to his wishes. He says things like “I`m sorry for the way I acted” or “I know I am being selfish; I Just really care about you, ” etc.

He learns overtime what is effective and what is ineffective and pays attention to the reactions he gets when he uses different strategies to evoke emotional dependence and sympathy. It is an insidious thing to do in a relationship, especially when the victims are susceptible to compassion and empathy and are naïve.

Both victims want to believe that they are not in a dangerous or toxic situations, and they Grasp into the kernel of hope each time a bad interaction ends. This acts as the fuel that moves the situation forward as it escalates, all the while the victims believe they are making headway and coming to an understanding.

This situation is a prime hunting ground for the Manipulator, who may start to use different Manipulative Tactics to enforce control and Dominance. The stepfather may be driven by a number of different motivators that are mostly unfathomable to people who are not in that position.

He may be Jealous of the two young women`s bond and in that position. He may be Jealous of the two young women`s bond and acts out of the Frustration with this, trying to drive them apart and force himself between them. 

There may outside factors involved, as we`ve discussed, which lead him to act out on the people he feels he has control over.

The danger comes into play when the cycle is broken in some way, and there is possibility that the stepfather reacts violently as his paradigm of control over the household is shattered.

Perhaps somewhere along the road, the victim realizes that things are never going to change and that the love and trust and respect that the mother once thought was there no longer exists.

They decide to leave permanently and even reach out to government agencies and other family members for support. Then try to plan a quiet escape, but the stepfather finds out and immediately gets angry to the point of rage.

Many Tragic endings have followed such a scenario in Real Life, and it highlights the need for support in the area of domestic abuse victims who are trying to get out of a dangerous and toxic environment at home.

Another set of circumstances where the Parent might exercise Emotional Manipulation is in the case of an Absent Parent who later back to ask for support from an Adult child. Even when a Parent is Absent, there is a bond and desire for connection with the child in most cases, which might drive them to find the parent later in life to try to rekindle the relationship.

In another scenario, the child is strong enough to accept that even though this person is Family, they have not earned the Love and Respect that would have been afforded had they actually functioned like a parent in the home. When an estranged Parent comes to a Point in their Lives when they really don`t see any other means of support other than their children, things can get awkward and heartbreaking really.

After that initial approach, the Parent usually hides the fact that they need help and pretends that the meeting is all about wanting to apologize and reintroduce himself into the child`s life. He must then watch the child`s Response and Play according to how open and willing he is to give in and let his father talk.

If there is any degree of desire for reconnection or existing love even after having been abandoned, then the father might be able to latch onto this and go along with the idea that they are forming a relationship that both had missed out on while the child was growing up.

This is another form of toxic Emotional Manipulation, which plays on a child`s love for his parents, even when they are not the best parents in the world.

Just like the example above where the parents give in to a son who is increasingly absent and becoming distant in their lives, there is a very strong unconditional love that is present in many families, which can be very difficult to overcome in toxic and manipulative situations. 

The abuser will milk this tendency for all it`s worth where their needs or desires are desperate, while the victims desperately cling to the possibility that they can change things for the better each time they are manipulated into helping out the abuser in some way.

So we have Discussed in this Chapter about the “Toxic Family Members” .

In Next Chapter we will going to start 

“Defenses Against Brainwashing“

Perhaps right alongside Manipulation between Romantic Partners is Manipulation that is exercised between Family Members, and this is one of the most hurtful and toxic experiences a person can go through.

In this Chapter, we will go over some example situations in which Fark psychology can operate between Family Members in a home or close Family Members Living Apart. The First Dynamic we will discuss is that between a Parent and Child.

The Child as the Manipulator

When you were young, do you remember your Parents using certain Tactics on you as a way to show you that something you did was wrong or to Punish you?

Some of us talk about the Guilt Factor involved when a Parent would simply Look really hurt and explain that she is disappointed as a way to make the child feel bad for his actions. This took the place of Physical Punishment, and i think a lot of us would say that this form of Emotional Punishment utilizing Guilt and Shame can be worse than a Spanking.

As a child grows older, she may employ Manipulation Tactics in order to Deceive or Mislead Parents so that they can do things that are normally not Allowed. This is considered pretty typical behavior for Teenagers to most people, though it can be infuriating and frustrating for Parents trying to guide and protect their kids.

When Manipulative Tactics turn Toxic and cause Long-Term Harm, a Vicious cycle of hurt and mistrust can form where there was once Love and Trust. Abusing another`s love for you for the sake of getting something from them is a hurtful and damaging path.

Lets look at an example to see how this might unfold. A couple of attentive and nurturing Parents raise a Sone Named Derek. Derek is a well-behaved kid all throughout Grade School and Middle School, but in high school, he starts getting involved with kids who are always drinking and partying.

They also Introduced him to Drugs. At first, he just partakes every once in a while when he is at a party, but after his first two years in high school, he realizes he was developed a kind of dependency on it and craves the drugs several times a week.

He has someone to buy from in connection with his friends at school, but he doesn`t always have the money. To get cash, he asks his Parents and makes up an excuse for needing money. He has not been getting in trouble with the school, and his parents do not know about his behavior outside of school. They miss him more and more because he seems to be gone so much, but he does not really open up to them often.

In this situation, a kind of trade-off turns into a vicious cycle, and Derek picks up on how he can Manipulate his Parents to get what he wants because he knows what they need from him. When he needs cash, he also takes a night to spend time with them and talk to them about school and basically just tell them what they want to hear – that he is doing well and he is happy and healthy.

At the end of the conversation, once he feels he has made some key connections with them, he says that he needs money for something reasonable. Maybe he says he just met a girl and wants to take her out, or he needs money to help with a Project or Event at school because he is part of a committee or something like that. 

His Parents, now warmed up because they have gotten to spend a little time with him, agree to give him some cash and are even a bit generous. After this happens, he disappears for the next two nights, perhaps texting his Parents to let them know he will not be able to make it to Dinner but sometimes forgetting. 

The cycle continues all the way through High School, and after high school, he genuinely tries to get a job but finds that his Drug use puts him in a state where he can`t really function as he needs to in order to keep a job, and the addiction has just grown stronger.

His Parents, in this situation, are the most Tragic Component here in a lot of ways Emotionally. They have raised a son whom they love more than anything, yet he is pulling away. They begin to suspect that he is not as Healthy and Happy as he was when he tried to convince them in High school.

Perhaps they finally pick up on the possibility that he is doing Drugs and not doing well academically around his third or fourth years of High School, so they try to talk to him, but he denies everything. He keeps asking for Money and Occasionally coming Home and spending time with them at Dinner and having conversations afterward, but he doesn`t open up much about his social Life, and he always asks for money at the End of it.

When they are hesitate, and they ask him about where the money is going, he gets defensive, accusing them of not Loving him anymore. Or he Breaks Down crying and trying to evoke feelings of Pity and Guilt so that they might Relent. The Parents may Realize at some point, that they are being played, but they are so Torn because of their Love and Concerns for Derek.

Unfortunately, this is not such an uncommon situation nowadays. Kids are getting out of school and finding it difficult to get a good job or being inundated with influences who are into Drugs and Criminal Activity to make money instead of Working.

Loving Parents find themselves in a place where they wonder what went wrong, and they despair about the state of their kids, yet they are tethered unconditionally by their Love and can never say No when their child comes home and asks for support because they are so desperate to spend time with him and try to break through that shell he has put up around himself. They are desperate, just as much as Derek is to get what he needs to feed his habit.

Cycles like this one can last for years and years as the Parents continually try to reach the son, while the son continually comes home, begging for cash or a place to stay for a night or two. One constant thing in this cycle, which keeps feeding it, is the promise that things are going to change or that he is going to get help and be better and that he just needs some cash to help him get started.

The lies and Emotional Manipulation continues while the Parents are strung along behind, desperately hoping for a miracle and unable to shut their son out or Refuse him Help.

Situations like this one do not often have easy endings, though sometimes, the child successfully competes Rehab and then struggles with everything he has to change and kick his Habit for good. People do this through all kinds of different support networks, sometimes Religious Affiliations or Charity Organizations where they completely reorient their Focus and surround themselves with support to help them stay away from the temptations of their old lives. The cycle can be broken, but it is hard road where emotions are involved in Manipulation Techniques over time.

So, we have Discuss how Child can play a role of Manipulation with their Parents. In Next Topic we are going to Discuss 

“The Parent as the Manipulator“