Dear Readers, Welcome to Our Final Part of Our Article on “The Power of Persuasion: Strategies for Successful Negotiation“.

Today we are continuing with our Last Example on “Negotiating Anything, Any Place : Taking it Personally” .

Do check the Last Part to fully understand this Example.
So, Let’s Begin!

As, in Last part we had discussed 2 things for specific rules that doesn’t apply when Negotiating.

Although we have come this far together, a caveat about this approach may be in order. Please recognize that any effective technique carried to an extreme is no longer effective. It may become downright ridiculous. So some moderation is often helpful.
Sometime ago I read an apocryphal story that I would like to share with you.

A new priest was so nervous at his first mass, that he could hardly speak. Afterward, he met with his superior, the monsignor, and asked for help.

Pleased by the request, the monsignor placed his arm around the young priest and said, “To hold your audience, you must make the Bible come alive. your flock must see those times and events as if they were happening today. Remember, Jesus’ interest was in the redemption of man’s very humanity. His mission was not to govern men, but to release them.”

“In other words“, the monsignor said, leaning closer, “make it a personal experience for the worshippers. Use their language. Tell it like it is, as the young people say.“

The priest was nodding enthusiastically, encouraging his superior to continue.
Impressed by the attitude of the young man, the monsignor couldn’t resist one last piece of experienced advice. Beckoning the priest closer, he whispered, “Oh yes—it might help you relax a little if you put some alcohol in your water glass.“

The next Sunday, following his superior’s instructions to the letter, the young priest was very much at ease and talked up a storm. However, he noticed the monsignor, in the rear of the congregation, furiously taking notes.

When the mass was over he rushed up to his superior, anxious for some more sagacious feedback. “Well, how did I do this week?“

“Fine” the monsignor said, “But there are 6 things that you might straighten out in the future.“
He then handed the priest his notes, which follows:

1. They are the 10 commandments, not “the top 10 on the charts.“
2. There were 12 disciples, not “a whole gross.“
3. David slew Goliath. He did not “whip his ass.“
4. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as “The late J.C.“
5. Next Sunday there is a taffy-pulling contest at St. Peter’s, not “a Peter-pulling contest at St. Taffy’s“
6. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as “Big Daddy, Junior, and the Spook.“

Moral:  Don’t be a literalist. Do what is appropriate under the circumstances — exercising moderation always.

“Personalizing Power”

Probably, one of the most effective uses of “Personalizing Power” was made by the late Richard J. Daley, long time mayor of Chicago. Let me try to contrast and characterize his approach with a contemporary in big-city government, John Lindsay, New York City’s former mayor.

in my opinion, John Lindsay was the best-looking mayor the Big Apple ever had. Lean, chisel featured, and square jawed, he could easily have pursued a career in media or show business. He was the tallest mayor the city ever had — which isn’t saying much. 

His dress was impeccable; he was an eloquent speaker. Why, he didn’t even sound as if he came from New York. This, if nothing else, should have qualified him to be the Mayor of New York. John Lindsay, appeared to have everything.

Did John Lindsay, a decent public servant with the best intentions, achieve his objectives? Not at all. Why not? Because despite his engaging City of New York. he said such things as, “New York City would like you to honor your commitment.“

Do you think people like labor leader Michael Quill ( who played the “dumb is better” routine by always mispronouncing the mayor’s name as “Lindsley”) cared about this impersonal abstraction?

the megalopolis of New York is too big for a finite mind to comprehend. To Quill it was like a request from the British Empire.

Daley, on the other hand, was short, with a silly-putty body. When he lost weight he could best be described as pudgy. He clothed himself in suits that had been out of style for 30 years. When he spoke publicly his syntax butchered the English Language.

One day he would cut the ribbon on a new school and dedicate the building to the “Higher Platitudes of Learning“. Thereafter, he would defend an indicated crony with,  “We’ve been boyhood friends all our lives“, and then dismiss the Vietnam War protest by remarking, “I don’t see any more serious division in our country than we had during the Civil War.“

He once advised a group of business executives, “Today, the real problem is the Future.“

Then there was his famous rebuttle to reports of a police riot during the demonstrations at the Democratic National Convention in 1968. “The police are not here to create disorder,” he said. “They are here to preserve disorder!“

When the newspapers dutifully quoted him, Earl Bush, his press secretary blamed the media.

“It’s damn bad reporting,” he told the reporters gathered. “You should have quoted what the mayor meant, not what he said.” ( Somehow they understood that.) “Hizzoner” himself even reproached the press: “You have condemned me, you have vilified me, you have even criticized me.“

Were Daley’s appearance and garbled speech a drawback? To the contrary. they made him human, endearing, and appealing. He’s still so revered in Chicago that you might say he’s on the verge of local canonization.

Late last autumn, I was sitting in a plane at O’Hare waiting to depart. My seatmate asked, “Is it snowing outside?” After glancing out the window I assured him that it was. He responded matter of factly, “You know, when Daley was alive, it never snowed this early!“

The Late mayor is buried in an unimpressive grave site at a small cemetery in Chicago. However, year in and year out, tens of thousands of visitors make a pilgrimage to his last resting-place, to pay homage. 

As a matter of fact, the weight of all these people has caused the ground to sink around the grave, and the mound of earth, under which his remains lie, has risen. Why does this multitude come? For all we know, they’re still asking for Favors. And for all we know, he’s still granting them!

Why do labor representatives still say, “Daley really understood the working man and his needs!“

How could he possibly deal with both sides of the fence, then convince each group he was on its side? Because unlikely Lindsey, Daley negotiated personally. He never negotiated on behalf of the Democratic National Committee, the Democratic party, or the City of Chicago. 

He knew in his gut that such concepts were to abstract. Instead, he approached individuals privately, one by one, asking for their commitment to him personally. 

That’s “Personalizing Power“
Now that we have come full circle, I Trust that the end of this journey marks the beginning of a Rewarding and Liberating phase of your Life.

You have a Role Play in this world— a reason for being here. But it is up to you to find your part and direct your future.

You Alone determine your destiny through your own Efforts. Accept this responsibility—not just for yourself, but for us all. 

You have the Power to change you Life and the Lives of others as well. 
Don’t back away from the exercise of Power or wait for someone else to Act.
Of course you can get what you want should be to help others along the way.

The Good Life is not a Passive Existence where you Live and Let Live. It is one of involvement where you live and help live.

Allow me to close this Article with Words written by William Styron in Sophie's Choice: The most profound statement yet made about Auschwitz was not a statement at all, but a Response. The query: "At Auschwitz, tell me, where was GOD?" And the Answer: "Where was Man"